My Dark Vanessa by Kate Elizabeth Russell

Synopsis

2000: Bright, ambitious, and yearning for adulthood, fifteen-year-old Vanessa Wye becomes entangled in a affair with Jacob Strane, her magnetic and guileful forty-two-year-old English teacher.

2017: Amid the rising wave of allegations powerful men, reckoning is coming due. Strane has been accused of sexual abuse by a former student, who reaches out to Vanessa , and how Vanessa suddenly finds herself facing an impossible choice: remain silent, firm in the belief that her teenage self

willingly engaged in this relationship, or redefine herself and the events of her past. But how can Vanessa reject her first love, the man who fundamentally transformed her and has been a persistent presence in her life? Is it possible that the man she loved as a teenager - and who professed to worship only her - may be far different from what she has always believed ?

Let me go ahead and give a fair warning here. This book review and discussion has triggers that many people may not be comfortable with, including multiple scenes of sexual abuse of a minor.

I'm gonna jump right into this. This book took me about a week to finish. I usually finish a book in about 2-3 days. I have a hectic work schedule. It didn't take me this long because I didn't like it. I was invested in this book. I wanted to keep knowing what was going to happen. I had to put it down so many times because it was soo much too deal with. It had a lot of disturbing parts, which ironically were the BEST written parts of the story.

"My Dark Vanessa" follows Vanessa at 15, in the year 2000 and also Vanessa 33 in 2017. We meet her in the present day, at work. She is silently stresses that her love interest from high school is being accused of sexual misconduct on Facebook and the post has been getting a lot of likes and shares. Only thing is her "love interest" from high school......was her 42 year old English teacher. She was 15 at the time. So, in present day, that makes him 60!

If he was doing it back then with her, whose to say this other girl who has come forward isn't telling the truth? Vanessa just doesn't believe her because in her mind, she wasn't a victim. She wasn't abused. She was a willing participant in their relationship.

WHAT??????

Let me pause here for a moment.

Regardless if she is was willing or not, VANESSA WAS A VICTUM OF SEXUAL ABUSE! Her predator was her teacher. This is disturbing to me on so many levels. She is supposed to be safe in school. Parents don't send their children to school to get abused by their teachers.

It's very hard for me to understand Vanessa's thought process. I think many people will have a problem understanding how she thinks she wasn't a victim. The whole ordeal made her suffer long term effects that she eventually goes to therapy for.

This book is unlike anything that I have ever read. I have never read Lolita , but that seems to be HOW the relationship started. Often times, I felt very uncomfortable reading this. I have 2 teenage daughters. I kept thinking, "What if a predator is at MY daughters school?" What I feel is more intense and dark is that we get an eye opening view described in very good detail how a predator can manipulate and brainwash a victim.

Vanessa and Strane's relationship eventually comes out and her school failed her. Even in 2000, when the #METOO movement was a thing of the future and human trafficking wasn't a topic, they failed her. They failed to protect the children and the future.

When I finally finished this book, I have to say I am glad that I read it. It was very dark, but like I said, it was very eye opening. It broke my heart and angered me to read and see how this effected Vanessa in the long run. I felt so many different emotions through out this book. I really am impressed that this is a debut novel.

MY RATING:

⭐⭐⭐⭐/ 5

So, there are soo many different sites that have discussion questions for this book, but eventually I did end up choosing to go with the publishers discussion questions, which you can find HERE . There are 17 questions on that guide, but as always, I'm just going to answer a few.

1. What is your impression of Strane? How do you interpret Vanessa’s attraction to him? Do you consider him an “evil” or “sick” character?

💥 She first was attracted to his mind. Plus, he gave her intellectual attention. She felt no one understood her and here is this man who not only understood her, he was making her feel special for the extra attention he was giving her and no one else. I do consider him a sick character. As a teacher, you are supposed to protect your classroom. Not bring trouble and hurt your students.

2. Vanessa is underage when she first has sex with Strane, but believes that she consented and wanted his attentions. Where do you see the line that separates consent and rape in this situation? If Vanessa had been eighteen at the start of their relationship, would this change your perception?

💥 There is no line that separates. There is no gray area in this situation. She was a minor. She wads 15. There should have been nothing more than a professional relationship between the 2. He crossed the line. Even if Vanessa was 18 at the time of the relationship, she was still his high school student. It is not ok. It was statutory rape in every aspect.

3. Do you think that Vanessa was the first student Strane pursued in this manner? If so, why or why not?

💥 No, I don't think she was the first one. I feel like he did it too easily. He was too comfortable to begin with. He just never got caught before. He was very inappropriate with her and I'm sure he was to girls before she came along. He was that teacher that gave you the creeps.

4. We move back and forth in time between Vanessa’s teenage years and her present. How does Vanessa change throughout the years, or not change? What does this signify about the lasting effects of her relationship with Strane?

💥 I don't feel like she ever does change. She spends her entire life defending him. And its not like she is defending him just to do it. She really believes he has done nothing wrong. He really messed her up because she could never have a normal relationship with another man.

5. How has social media shaped the way we respond to news about harassment and abuse allegations? How does the cacophony of responses help or hinder all parties involved in the case, or even others who find themselves in similar situations?

💥 Social media has definitely helped call out harassments and actually take action against predators. The best and prime example is Harvey Weinstein. He is a horrible man and he is finally serving time for his crimes. In this particular case, for Strane, it brought awareness but justice wasn't served for obvious reasons for the route that he took.

Have you read this book? What did you think of it? Leave me a comment and let me know and please don't forget to subscribe!

Next book:

You Had Me At Hola by Alexis Daria